July 20/21 Hotel in Munich 1997
I’m in bed. Room 342 n the Munic Hilton.
I’ve been reading the BMV handbook (yawn)
I must say the whole thing wasn’t as bad as I
thought it was going to be. I even slept on the
flight over (they flew us First Class which was
a nice surprise.And Bruce didn’t make me
work which was another nice surprise)
We went for a german meal at Badu Haus.
And had pork and some sort of Dumpling.
My bag arrived in time. Ted and Graham
bumped into two advertisng guys they knew
who were working on ads for Audi whose
head office also in Munich
July 21
One of the most excruciatingly boring days
of my life except for seeing the new M3 car
and ringing Micheal Ravage who says all
went well with the Pee shoot.
July 22
Last night we went to a French-sounding place
with all the gang. I enjoyed it more today since we
were shown some ropey ads from WCRS 9the British
ad agency who are trying to win BNV back (yawn)
and they unveiled the new coupe BMW (yawn)
they made a big deal out of it as if anyone
gave a fuck.
I’m back in the hotel.
There’s going to be a run-through for the Shane
Pond stuff at 7pm tomorrow. I’ll be presenting it
This nice way to live. I’ll be off to Los Angeles next.
I could get good at this transient life. Ringing in for
messages by proxy I actually prefer it to being stuck
in a dingy office. And you get to see the world a bit.
And all these people I'm meeting may even be useful
some day. And it’s official I’ve lost some weight.
Now I just have to keep it that way .
The air here in Munich is nice and fresh and eurpeaon
not like in humid St LaCroix. Two guys at the dinner
last nigh twere sympathizing with me over the oncoming
winter saying your tearducts freeze up. They scared me
because they wee from canada Not because I have a thing
about canadians but because they should know what
they're talking about. I‘m so sick of people going on
about it. They love it. You can see it in their faces they
love explaining how horrible it’s going to be. When I try to
be optimistic about the place someone says ‘wait until winter'
That’s all anyone seems to do there is wait until winter.
I can’t help thinking Sebastian is pissing himself
laughing somewhere after orchestrating my
removal from London. But then I forget it was me
who took the job. I moved here not him.
Yes yes it was me who took the job.
Thursday\ Klm flight to Amsterdam and then Dublin
Last night at yet another dinner I found myself in
front of a Kraut spouting the most insane shight
I think I‘ve ever heard. On and on the Kraut mouth
spewed into the surrounding Munichness I might have
enjoyed the craziness of it if I hadn’t been so devastatingly
tired. I really resented having to sit there and bear the pain.
For pain it was, towards the end.
I'd flinch watching another course being ordered
thinking how long it was going to take the assembled
bastardage to consume it. But yea when the bill arrived
my soul sangeth. All in all it was a great trip I enjoyed it.
Funny that, because in the actual moment I found it
gruelling. I really enjoyed mooching around Munich
buying little trinkets.I got a book on soviet posters.
Also the german frauleins were a sight to behold.
The northern Germans come south to Bavaria for their
holidays. So I‘m forced to concede that it wasn’t nearly as bad as
I thought. And I will grudgingly give in to the fact that it was not
unlike a little holiday in itself. I feel ashamed that I got a bit surly
towards the end but that’s insomnia for you.
By the way BMV loved the Shane Pond ads we’d done and we got
go–ahead which wasafter all the only reason we’d gone there in
der Firstenplatz.
I will always remember the programme called Space Night on
German TV which shows sattelite camera imagery of the earth and
titles them Sud Afrika. Excellent techno music. It’s perfect sure
fodder for 3am when your body alarm-clock has been set off too
soon. Also beware the mini bar not because I was worried about
the booze but because I drank more Coca Cola and ate
more crisps than I would ever normally do. And so I end up
bloated greasy and guiltriddem...
like I shagged someone I shouldn’t
Graham was pretty good to me even though I thought he
was a complete cunt on the lsat evening. But then anyone
who inhabitated that blue globe featured so heavenly on Space
Night was a complete cunt on that last evening.
I wonder if Hitler ever had Jet lag I tell you …you’d kill
an extra million just for the hell of it when you’re jet lagged and
underslept. Here coms the fraulein with Brakfast.
Nice coffee and mineral water bitte schoon.
Whaminzi baminzi Danke Maam.
Graham and Ted are a funny pair.
They work well as a team, Ted is really like a Midwestern cop.
He directs traffic with aplomb. Graham is like cross between
Peter Cushing and Clint Eastwood. He always looks to me
like he’s dead. Pale with Blue veins under his eyes.
He say things like “Shoot” and “Goofy” and “I apologise”
He also has this way of going “Huh” when he wants to indicate
that what has just been said is impressive to him.
When I first heard it I thought it was a sarcastic snort
But having heard him use it in the presence of clients
I now realize this can’t be the case.
I have also noticed other members of the Untited State
Citizenry employ this gutteral eulogy and so I‘m going
to assume it’s widespread and not particlar to Graham.
Ted has this nice way ”Um” ‘ ‘Ha’ after a ....
....hang on.... the KLM Dutch stewardess has just
offered the guy beside me a ‘nappy”
She quickly realised her mistake and said “napkin”
and laughed lightly as one would if one was really was
just happy with life; as if hurtling along at 500 miles an
hour in a fucking Aerial Submarine was the most natural thing in
the Blue Globe to be doing at 7am in the der morningstrasse.
"Nappy" is right. I reckon it was a Freudian slip on her part.
The reason she said nappy to your man was she was thinking
“This is likefeeding a load of fucking babies all helpless and
shitting themselves” An altitudenal maternity ward.
I myself, prefer the comparision to battery hens.
You know when they have all those hens in their little cages and
just their heads sticking out for feeding. Feathers everywhere and
hen shit. And their beaks have been cut off so they can’t peck at each
other and so their meat is kept intact. (There were quite a few german
chicks whose foul-mouths I wouldn’t have minded getting my cock into)
Those young things in white vests. Vests now, not t-shirts.
Not a bra in sight and the fucking little tits on them. Hard as apples.
“Oh Willie das ist gut gut gut ja ja ja bitte”
Blonde hair and blonde skin too.
Hitler the sneaky cunt knew what he was on about.
Now the door to the pilots cockpit is open and one little cunt of
a kid has just gone in and is standing there between two dutch
pilots being shown the controls. It’s that scene from airplane
”Ever been in a Turkish prison?”
If that was me when I was a kid I’d be wanting to be a pilot
for about an hour after the flight. Anyway the stewerdsees
gave the two real children (the pilots) some of the leftover
food that we would have got if we’d wanted seconds.
Attention we’re making our descent hold on to you duty-free.
We’re going in.Rat a tat-a-tat. I can see the pilot on the
left reaching up and pressing swiches
on his little ceiling. He looks like he’s got a Walkman on.
The guy on the right is resting on what I suppose is some sort
of thrusting lever. They both look like they’re juust playing at
pilots. You can’t see anything out the window except white so
they could be in their bathroom for all we know.
Or they could be a rock duo posing for an album cover.
The uniforms don’t quite fit and their hairstyles are too fashionable.
Like when a kid gets in the driving seat of a car and start turning the
wheel.That’s what these two professional pilots look like at 30,000
feet. I’m sure they’ve sepnt 15 years of their lives to get to this point
and maybe even one of them lost his wife or girlfriend to his one
true love (the sky) and maybe they both hate each other and only
tolerate each other for the sake of the safety and efficiancy of the
airline. It’s just that they just don’t look it.They look like a couple
of big kids in shirts that were given to them an hour ago.
The dutch stewardess who wanted to put a nappy on the guy
next to me just became deep and profound and announced
"Our Decent"
She now sounds like she’s got a Cork accent.
Ok here we are we’ve landed at Schiphol.
Now what?
I’ve been reading the BMV handbook (yawn)
I must say the whole thing wasn’t as bad as I
thought it was going to be. I even slept on the
flight over (they flew us First Class which was
a nice surprise.And Bruce didn’t make me
work which was another nice surprise)
We went for a german meal at Badu Haus.
And had pork and some sort of Dumpling.
My bag arrived in time. Ted and Graham
bumped into two advertisng guys they knew
who were working on ads for Audi whose
head office also in Munich
July 21
One of the most excruciatingly boring days
of my life except for seeing the new M3 car
and ringing Micheal Ravage who says all
went well with the Pee shoot.
July 22
Last night we went to a French-sounding place
with all the gang. I enjoyed it more today since we
were shown some ropey ads from WCRS 9the British
ad agency who are trying to win BNV back (yawn)
and they unveiled the new coupe BMW (yawn)
they made a big deal out of it as if anyone
gave a fuck.
I’m back in the hotel.
There’s going to be a run-through for the Shane
Pond stuff at 7pm tomorrow. I’ll be presenting it
This nice way to live. I’ll be off to Los Angeles next.
I could get good at this transient life. Ringing in for
messages by proxy I actually prefer it to being stuck
in a dingy office. And you get to see the world a bit.
And all these people I'm meeting may even be useful
some day. And it’s official I’ve lost some weight.
Now I just have to keep it that way .
The air here in Munich is nice and fresh and eurpeaon
not like in humid St LaCroix. Two guys at the dinner
last nigh twere sympathizing with me over the oncoming
winter saying your tearducts freeze up. They scared me
because they wee from canada Not because I have a thing
about canadians but because they should know what
they're talking about. I‘m so sick of people going on
about it. They love it. You can see it in their faces they
love explaining how horrible it’s going to be. When I try to
be optimistic about the place someone says ‘wait until winter'
That’s all anyone seems to do there is wait until winter.
I can’t help thinking Sebastian is pissing himself
laughing somewhere after orchestrating my
removal from London. But then I forget it was me
who took the job. I moved here not him.
Yes yes it was me who took the job.
Thursday\ Klm flight to Amsterdam and then Dublin
Last night at yet another dinner I found myself in
front of a Kraut spouting the most insane shight
I think I‘ve ever heard. On and on the Kraut mouth
spewed into the surrounding Munichness I might have
enjoyed the craziness of it if I hadn’t been so devastatingly
tired. I really resented having to sit there and bear the pain.
For pain it was, towards the end.
I'd flinch watching another course being ordered
thinking how long it was going to take the assembled
bastardage to consume it. But yea when the bill arrived
my soul sangeth. All in all it was a great trip I enjoyed it.
Funny that, because in the actual moment I found it
gruelling. I really enjoyed mooching around Munich
buying little trinkets.I got a book on soviet posters.
Also the german frauleins were a sight to behold.
The northern Germans come south to Bavaria for their
holidays. So I‘m forced to concede that it wasn’t nearly as bad as
I thought. And I will grudgingly give in to the fact that it was not
unlike a little holiday in itself. I feel ashamed that I got a bit surly
towards the end but that’s insomnia for you.
By the way BMV loved the Shane Pond ads we’d done and we got
go–ahead which wasafter all the only reason we’d gone there in
der Firstenplatz.
I will always remember the programme called Space Night on
German TV which shows sattelite camera imagery of the earth and
titles them Sud Afrika. Excellent techno music. It’s perfect sure
fodder for 3am when your body alarm-clock has been set off too
soon. Also beware the mini bar not because I was worried about
the booze but because I drank more Coca Cola and ate
more crisps than I would ever normally do. And so I end up
bloated greasy and guiltriddem...
like I shagged someone I shouldn’t
Graham was pretty good to me even though I thought he
was a complete cunt on the lsat evening. But then anyone
who inhabitated that blue globe featured so heavenly on Space
Night was a complete cunt on that last evening.
I wonder if Hitler ever had Jet lag I tell you …you’d kill
an extra million just for the hell of it when you’re jet lagged and
underslept. Here coms the fraulein with Brakfast.
Nice coffee and mineral water bitte schoon.
Whaminzi baminzi Danke Maam.
Graham and Ted are a funny pair.
They work well as a team, Ted is really like a Midwestern cop.
He directs traffic with aplomb. Graham is like cross between
Peter Cushing and Clint Eastwood. He always looks to me
like he’s dead. Pale with Blue veins under his eyes.
He say things like “Shoot” and “Goofy” and “I apologise”
He also has this way of going “Huh” when he wants to indicate
that what has just been said is impressive to him.
When I first heard it I thought it was a sarcastic snort
But having heard him use it in the presence of clients
I now realize this can’t be the case.
I have also noticed other members of the Untited State
Citizenry employ this gutteral eulogy and so I‘m going
to assume it’s widespread and not particlar to Graham.
Ted has this nice way ”Um” ‘ ‘Ha’ after a ....
....hang on.... the KLM Dutch stewardess has just
offered the guy beside me a ‘nappy”
She quickly realised her mistake and said “napkin”
and laughed lightly as one would if one was really was
just happy with life; as if hurtling along at 500 miles an
hour in a fucking Aerial Submarine was the most natural thing in
the Blue Globe to be doing at 7am in the der morningstrasse.
"Nappy" is right. I reckon it was a Freudian slip on her part.
The reason she said nappy to your man was she was thinking
“This is likefeeding a load of fucking babies all helpless and
shitting themselves” An altitudenal maternity ward.
I myself, prefer the comparision to battery hens.
You know when they have all those hens in their little cages and
just their heads sticking out for feeding. Feathers everywhere and
hen shit. And their beaks have been cut off so they can’t peck at each
other and so their meat is kept intact. (There were quite a few german
chicks whose foul-mouths I wouldn’t have minded getting my cock into)
Those young things in white vests. Vests now, not t-shirts.
Not a bra in sight and the fucking little tits on them. Hard as apples.
“Oh Willie das ist gut gut gut ja ja ja bitte”
Blonde hair and blonde skin too.
Hitler the sneaky cunt knew what he was on about.
Now the door to the pilots cockpit is open and one little cunt of
a kid has just gone in and is standing there between two dutch
pilots being shown the controls. It’s that scene from airplane
”Ever been in a Turkish prison?”
If that was me when I was a kid I’d be wanting to be a pilot
for about an hour after the flight. Anyway the stewerdsees
gave the two real children (the pilots) some of the leftover
food that we would have got if we’d wanted seconds.
Attention we’re making our descent hold on to you duty-free.
We’re going in.Rat a tat-a-tat. I can see the pilot on the
left reaching up and pressing swiches
on his little ceiling. He looks like he’s got a Walkman on.
The guy on the right is resting on what I suppose is some sort
of thrusting lever. They both look like they’re juust playing at
pilots. You can’t see anything out the window except white so
they could be in their bathroom for all we know.
Or they could be a rock duo posing for an album cover.
The uniforms don’t quite fit and their hairstyles are too fashionable.
Like when a kid gets in the driving seat of a car and start turning the
wheel.That’s what these two professional pilots look like at 30,000
feet. I’m sure they’ve sepnt 15 years of their lives to get to this point
and maybe even one of them lost his wife or girlfriend to his one
true love (the sky) and maybe they both hate each other and only
tolerate each other for the sake of the safety and efficiancy of the
airline. It’s just that they just don’t look it.They look like a couple
of big kids in shirts that were given to them an hour ago.
The dutch stewardess who wanted to put a nappy on the guy
next to me just became deep and profound and announced
"Our Decent"
She now sounds like she’s got a Cork accent.
Ok here we are we’ve landed at Schiphol.
Now what?
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